Kamal: The I Vs The My

Standar

My parents called me Kamal Yusuf, derived from Arabic means The Perfection of Joseph— for sure, I like this name given that it sound cute in ears. My friends and my colleagues usually call me Kamal, this word means Perfection. I love they call me Kamal since I believe that a name represents hopes and prayers over ourselves, it embodies a symbolic future life of person with a name attached to them. Likewise most people accept as true that a name is a realization among hope, meaning, and characteristics of person— even if Shakespere said what is a name? That is just a name! Therefore, here I’d like to recount a bit of Kamal as a person (which is consist of member of bodies) and as a soul (in which the spirit is underlying the bodies).

I am and my self are likely different, one body with two opposite wishes. The “I am” (The I) here refers to physical conscious, as a person, whereas the “my self” (The My) relates to unconscious soul, personality, and character. The I covers the whole body physically from hair to thumbs. The My is the spirit which is internalizes and activates the I (the whole bodies). Two previous terms will be useful in sense that Kamal is life, as a human being.

All my life I have been searching for the real existence of the I and the My all the way throughout spiritual wandering, educations, sciences, language contact, and so forth to bring differences together lay between them. Some ways has revealed how to reconcile conflicts between the I and the My. Alas, some matters still remain to set right their togetherness, though it hard to pull off.

Finding me in bad temper it could be one side of the I, or possibly all of it. Whoever saying Kamal is a lazy boy, an aggressive, a jealous, an unorganized person that are all right as described by the I. In the other way, the my is struggling to defeat he’s evil flank. And the battle between the I and the my always come to mind in his everyday life.

Now, when the two are fighting over their own “ego”, Kamal resigns himself to his heart. Let the depths of his heart resolves and sentences what the best to him.

Now, I miss lull with a lullaby song beside me when I sleep.

About kamalinev

Lahir 6 Juni 1979 (udah tua juga ya!) di Babat Lamongan Jawa Timur. Sejak kecil sudah merantau ke sana kemari, tinggal dari satu daerah ke daerah yang lain. Umur 5 hingga 7 tahun tinggal di Gresik. Seterusnya ikut tinggal bersama orang tua di Bondowoso, sebuah kota kecil di timur Banyuwangi, hingga selesai SD. SMP ia lanjutkan di Probolinggo sekaligus nyantri di Nurul Jadid Paiton. SMA dilanjutkan di Jember, tinggal bersama orang-orang “gila” di sebuah asrama penderitaan bernama MAPK, sebuah tempat berkumpulnya anak-anak pilihan seantero Jawa Timur. Bosan dengan kehidupan di Jawa Timur, lanjut lagi merantau ke Bandung, di sana studi di Univ. Padjadjaran. 4 tahun dirasa cukup tinggal di tanah Pasundan, pindah lagi untuk studi di Univ. Indonesia, Jakarta (Depok). Pada tahun 2004 selepas lulus kuliah S2 dari UI, diputuskan untuk tinggal dan bekerja di Surabaya, hingga saat ini. Tapi ini bukan pilihan terakhir. Jika dirasa perlu, nanti akan ada hijrah lagi, entah kapan….

2 responses »

  1. setuju buat yulia… maaf ya mas.. kayaknya sih emang gitu… paling enak mang kalo bagian komentar,😉 (hm.. sorry ya.. manggilnya dgn sebutan “mas”, gpp, kan..? nyantai aja.. aku bukan mahasiswimu kok! he3 siapa nanya’!?). Ohya.. Mas kamal.. jenengan ini kan berbasic English-Arabic (sastra Arab gt loh!.. wuiih.. keren!) , kenapa tidak sekalian share juga dengan tulisan arabic nya? biar kita bisa istifadah juga.. Mm.. Always keep fighting ya! (th mxudnya. kan..?)

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